I’m currently in month seven of what I now realise is spiritual warfare.
I didn’t know it at first. I thought I was just tired. Maybe lazy. Maybe backsliding. But today—literally today—as I write this, I saw a tweet by a prophet I trust. She said what I’ve been feeling is the final stage of warfare.
And suddenly, everything made sense.
A Little Backstory
If you’re new to my blog, here’s some context. I grew up in a deeply toxic environment. After my mother passed, I moved in with my aunt. From a young age, I became emotionally and financially responsible for things no child should carry. I won’t go into too much detail (not yet), but the short version is: I wasn’t a family member—I was staff.
Fast forward to adulthood: I’ve left her house. But recently, it’s become clear to me that she may be using witchcraft to manipulate my life from a distance. I suspect she wants me back under her roof so she can continue to benefit from me financially and control me emotionally.
Sound wild? Trust me, I used to think so too. Until I started noticing patterns.
My Spiritual Life Since Then
For the past seven months, my prayer life has been a rollercoaster. Some weeks I’m on fire. I’m up at midnight praying, I read the Word in the morning, I’m blasting gospel music like I’m hosting my own revival. Other weeks? Nothing.
- I forget to pray in the morning.
- I don’t touch my Bible.
- Gospel music? Feels like noise.
- Getting out of bed? A battle.
- Doing basic tasks? Feels like climbing Everest.
But one thing I’ve been consistent in, even on the darkest days, is midnight prayer. Even if it’s just, “Lord, I’m here. Help.” That’s it. That’s the whole prayer.
Is This Normal?
Yes.
You’re not a bad Christian. You’re in a battle.
The enemy’s biggest tactic in warfare isn’t thunder and lightning—it’s shame. He’ll convince you that because you’re not praying long, you’re failing. Because you missed your Bible plan, you’re a fraud. But here’s the truth:
Spiritual warfare doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re dangerous.
If you’ve been called to break generational strongholds, don’t be surprised when hell fights back.
Even strong believers experience dry seasons. Even prophets get tired. Even Jesus wept in Gethsemane.
What to Do When You Don’t Feel Like Doing Anything for God
I don’t have it all together. I’m still in this season. But here’s what’s helped me, and what I’ve learned from other Christians who’ve walked through spiritual warfare:
1. Say the Name of Jesus—Even If That’s All You Say
If you can’t pray, just whisper His name. That is prayer. That is warfare.
🔗 Why Saying “Jesus” Is Sometimes All You Need – Crosswalk
2. Play the Bible Instead of Reading It
Let the Word wash over you. Don’t force yourself to study when you’re running on fumes.
- Try the YouVersion Bible app
- Or Dwell—it’s calm, aesthetic, and beautifully narrated.
3. Worship on Autopilot
Even if you’re just lying in bed, play a worship playlist. Your spirit hears, even if your mind is elsewhere.
Here’s one I’ve been loving lately:
🔗 Peaceful Worship Music Playlist – YouTube
4. Don’t Fake the Funk—Be Real With God
You don’t need to sound holy. You don’t need to be poetic. Just say:
“God, I’m tired. I don’t want to do this today. But I’m here.”
He meets us in our honesty, not in our performance.
🔗 Why Honesty With God Matters – Well-Watered Women
5. Set One Tiny Goal a Day
In warfare seasons, don’t aim for 3 hours in Leviticus.
Do one small thing:
- Read one Psalm.
- Write one line in your prayer journal.
- Say one sentence of thanks.
Tiny obedience is still faith.
6. Let People Intercede for You
Even if you can’t speak up, someone can speak for you. Message a friend. Ask for prayer. Listen to intercession YouTube videos if you’re too weary to speak.
🔗 An Hour of Intercession for Breakthrough – YouTube
7. Stay Rooted in Your “Why”
You’re not doing this to prove anything. You’re doing this because you know God is real. You’ve tasted His goodness. You’ve seen Him carry you through hell before.
This is just another chapter in your testimony.
And If You’re In It Too…
I want you to know: you’re not broken. You’re in a battle.
This kind of warfare targets people who carry something valuable. The enemy doesn’t waste bullets. If your prayer life is under attack, it means your prayers were working.
If your motivation has evaporated, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re exhausted from the fight.
We serve a God who doesn’t throw us away when we’re burnt out. He draws near.
He restores. He comforts. He speaks again.
“A bruised reed He will not break, and a smouldering wick He will not snuff out.” – Matthew 12:20
You’re still lit, even if it’s just a flicker.
Final Thoughts
I don’t have a victory testimony yet. I’m not writing this from the other side. I’m writing this mid-fight, tears in my eyes, exhausted and clinging to grace. But I believe in the God who finishes what He starts.
So if all you can do today is say “Jesus,”
If all you can do is press play on a worship song,
If all you can do is read one verse…
That’s enough.
You’re enough.
And this warfare? It ends. Soon.
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